It’s been rough and challenging experience for couple of months. It saddened me that I didn’t have much time to write up and share some memorable and amazing experiences I had. I always take long breaks on writing- things fall in unexpected ways. But life must go on and life is just like a mountain that there will be downs and ups but this will never hold me back to keep going.
For the most part of my journey, there’s part of our life that we have to take a break in order for us to get the best decision we could make. One of those things is getting enlightened to the goals that you really wanted and get rid of things that hinder you. I felt I’ve been in a cage for a long time and the things I have done for myself these past years are just baby steps and perhaps a path that I really wasn’t prepared of. What I realized was, sometimes how much positive we are to help others, the unwillingness will not change anything, don’t let yourself be magnified with this vibes instead make this a way to be more motivated, focus and brave.
There were times I was lost and forgot what I want than what I need. Every day, I only thought about what’s best for me and what is right. I always look around, listen, feel and understand in all ways. The reality and expectation is so different that it came to the point that I have to face the reality and work to get through to my expectations. The mind over heart or heart over mind is chaotic, challenging and it may really causes pain. Sometimes I just let myself understand the fact that everything will not always fall to what we want. I learned that working ourselves to blend with others is the most important part of knowing yourself worth. In a certain ways, I figured that we may give a lot of time and effort that even the best for us we forget. But the best part is, we all have due time and only time can heal.
Rough times may come and go. I just let myself learn to deal in every rocky hill and accept that it’s not a perfect world. We may always fall down but we also need to remember that we could always get up, start over, wiser and braver. We may not realize that in every challenge that comes, there are such lessons, and these lessons in life could help us grow as a person. I’m sure that I will never forget the happiness and pains that brought me to what I am now. Keeping pain and hatred is not fulfilling, it’s a noise that will forever hugs you at no peace. Instead I’m grateful to all planned heart aches by God, because I felt I’m alive and it’s life that we have to process and learn for new beginning.
BEYOND WHAT IT FEELS
I was thankful. At first, I was looking for answers to all my questions. But I realized that sometimes, we don’t need to have answer to all questions. At some point, we just have to let ourselves burn in pain maybe because that’s the best way to heal. Things happen for a reason, they said. It’s the time that can only heal us. As days goes by, I am embracing the change and pains that brought me to this point. I found a clear view of what I want and things I want to learn more about me. It feels like new, clearer air to breath, the pollution going through my mind gets light and more stable. I guess I found the sign of happiness, and forgiveness.
I learned that selfishness can be also healthy. It made me realized that the workload I had on my plate was way too heavy and over flowing. And I wonder how I managed to have stayed strong and peaceful behind these painful grievances. Then I learned to let everything go to its place by itself. I believe happiness always starts within you. The peace is always in my heart knowing the best shot already offered, the scar will always be there but it mold me to be a better one. The moment when you learn to let go of the pain, you’ll learn how to be happy for yourself because you knew you’ve done great. Knowing you gave so much, your best and entire strength to make everything work. Because when we get tired, it’s okay, we’re humans and we want to live happily and the place we really deserve, everyone deserves to be happy.
I rightfully admit that there were so many things in life that I haven’t known yet and things I have to learn and things that await me whether it’s beyond what I see. I honestly agree that it excites me to take care of everything I’ve missed. I missed the life that I supposedly enjoying from the start. The plans that I wanted for myself, I feel I’m ready to begin again. I want everything to fall into place, not get in rush and not settle for less but be tougher and enjoy the life given. The pain is over, now I’m processing to be more self motivated, positive and goal getter. I think when doing those things makes me more empowered and fulfilled. I believe that’s very important to one self. Effectively emotionally, physically, and mentally stable is the key to live happily as one entity.
It feels right when you finally breathe and that you’re family is always there to support you. I’d love to see the whole world even the place that hasn’t been discovered. It would be totally amazing to see and witness its beauty. I think that one of the things I’m missing. Learning deep the meaning of life is something I always enjoy; giving effort to the living things that surrounds me gives me joy and constant happiness. I believe there are more things to see and learn as I go along and aged. I think I would totally be happy giving myself full effort to go through to this stage of my life.
GROWING INTO DEEP FEELING
There are things that we can’t control, it will fall into a place that we are not sure, Pains that we unexpectedly to receive. Sacrifices that we put on place and not expect anything in return, unselfishness of true love and baggage counter of issues and problems. It takes a lot when you actually care and do whatever it takes to someone important in your life. But I realized in order for you to truly care to someone who is important in your life is learning how to priority yourself.
I came to a point that I need time to feel the long gone happiness inside me. A time to see how I can work for myself and pursue the dreams that I wanted to happen, and be able to withdrawn myself to the part of my life that pulls me back. I believe there’s some part of our lives that we have to give so much and we forget ourselves and realizing that it’s an unhealthy process. In this pace of my journey I faced a lot of trials and new level of happiness. I don’t regret any single part of it because I believe it will not came to my way if I know for sure I can’t surpass it.
I really do believe that in life we have emotional stages, and I always look after the future. I always see the happiness wait for me in every decision I make. The eternal happiness you feel after a long battle in life because you knew that you’re done with it, that you’re freely happy and ready to face the new stage of challenge you’ll going to go through.